What do we talk about?

I specialise in issues of self-growth and identity, family and couples therapy, parent-child bonding, working with the LGBTIQA+ community, family of origin exploration and issues, relational and complex trauma such as childhood abuse or neglect, working with men who use violence, and attachment issues. I enjoy working with individuals and couples to really unpack their experiences of relationships and sense of self. I am interested in how our families of origin influence how we think and act in our current relationships. 

  • Specialise in 
    • Relationships of all kinds including family, romantic, platonic, queerplatonic, relationship anarchists and poly, and to your Self (most important of all)
    • Sense of self and identity
    • Family of origin legacies
    • Relational trauma (and other trauma)
    • LGBTIQA+ 
    • Cultural identity and experiences 
    • Domestic violence – working with both men and women who use and experience violence
    • Working with anger (I don’t agree with the term anger management)

Individual clients, we can talk about include…

  • Your family of origin legacies.

“Our family of origin—the source of our first blueprint for navigating relationships.” – Harriet Lerner, Ph.D.

  • Your anxiety and stress about past relationship, dating, current relationship, potential relationships or even the thought of being in an intimate relationship.
  • Feeling stuck about where you are in life at work/relationships/study/etc.
  • Dating and relationship coaching.
  • Your sense of self-worth, identity and self-esteem.

“To develop a self one must exercise choice and learn from the consequences of those choices; if the only thing you are taught is to comply, you have little way of knowing what you like and want.” – Bruce Perry

  • Assertiveness and communication skills.
  • Major life transitions.
  • Attachment, parenting and family relationships.
  • Gender, sexuality and identity.
  • Grief and loss.

“We run from grief because loss scares us, yet our hearts reach toward grief because the broken parts want to mend.” – Brene Brown

  • Childhood trauma including abuse, neglect, childhood psychological injuries.
  • Crisis, trauma and symptoms of PTSD.
  • Family distress and separation.
  • Anxiety and Depression.
  • Foster Care, Kinship Care and issues.
  • Domestic Violence, Abuse and Neglect.
  • Trauma and Separation.
  • Complex trauma.
  • Anger

“Anger is a tool for change when it challenges us to become more of an expert on the self and less of an expert on others.” – Harriet Learner

Parents (of all genders), a few of the things we can talk about include…

  • We can identify and heal personal childhood psychological injuries/issues of yours (the parent/s) that may impact on their children’s development i.e. your own parent was neglectful/abusive/etc so now you’re not sure what the right balance between kind and strict.
  • Maybe you don’t know how to emotionally bond or play with your child because you never had that when you were young?
  • Do you have a favourite child and feel guilty about it?
  • Your relationship to your self identity now that you’re a parent – do you feel like you’re still part of a couple, still independent, still sexual, career driven, too feminine, too masculine?
  • Are you feeling angry at your partner for making you the bad guy with the kids all the time?
  • Do you feel like your partner is not pulling their weight around the house?
  • Do you feel a sense of loss and emptiness now that you’ve had a child?
  • Is your child getting to the age they have a personality and you kind of hate it?
  • Do you feel like a shit parent but feel like you can’t talk to anyone about your feelings?
  • Are you feeling big feelings of not having your own parents in your children’s life?
  • Are people in your life such as friends and extended family crossing your boundaries and keep telling you how they think you should parent?

People in relationships, some things we can talk about include…

  • Navigating a non-traditional relationship (e.g. LGBTIQA+, poly, crosscultural, etc).
  • How to be in an ethical poly relationship.
  • Feelings of insecurity and distrust from one or both parties.
  • Constant on-again off-again rollercoaster.
  • If there’s been infidelity or cheating it doesn’t have to be the end of the relationship.
  • Everything’s good – we just want to be even better!
  • I’m unhappy but I don’t know if I want to leave.
  • I don’t know if I want to stay or go – I need help to decide.
  • I’m always angry at my partner!
  • There’s no passion in our relationship anymore – we’re more like roommates and friends than partners.
  • I don’t feel intimate or like I really know my partner.
  • I don’t feel loved by my partner.
  • I want to be better at communicating to my partner.
  • We want to be better communicators and stop misunderstandings and conflict as a couple.
  • Boundaries where it’s with your partner, In-laws or extended family/friend groups.

“Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves even when we risk disappointing others.” – Brene Brown

  • One partner needing more alone time than the other – feeling neglected, feeling clingy.
  • Mismatched sex drive.
  • We want to separate but we want to do it amicably for ourselves / any kids.
  • I think my partner is abusive but they don’t agree!
  • My partner has an anger problem!
  • Navigating major life transitions as a couple.’
  • I hate my partner’s family/friends!
  • I’m sick of being my partner’s caretaker/parent – I want them to grow up!
  • We can’t agree on any parenting decisions!
  • We can’t agree on a big decision! (Example: moving interstate, starting a business, having a child, etc.)
  • I don’t know what’s wrong but something just feels off.

For more info check out my PsychologyToday profile: https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/counselling/michelle-lin-sydney-nsw/714225?fbclid=IwAR0mGJ6NH9pEBPiIedPFgPxZJVJeBexyOMe4wKr9J8bpRNoZZhZG0WnIIv0